"I will always remember him for his style and flair."  / Lou D. (Friend)
    Unfortunately, I was only aquainted with chuckie for a short period of time.  In that time, however, I got to know him fairly well.  Well enough to see that, though he had his troubles (as did I), he had great character.  I would describe him as kind, fair, extremely intelligent and unique.  I will always remember him for his style and flair.  He was never afraid to say exactly what was on his mind.
     I took great inspiration  from Chuckie's death.  He inspired me to straighten out my life, and I am doing well.  I can only hope that others can take away something positive from Chuckie, whether from his life, or his tragic death. 
     Why is it that only the good die young, and that the brightest flames burn quickest?  Even though I believe these statements to be true, I know there is a reason...Chuckie is in a better place, I know this in my soul. Close

Thinking of you  / Sherri
Two years ago today, I last saw you. I came to your house to see you before you left for Texas. You were not happy about leaving, but you looked alright. You called the next day and wanted to stop over and say goodbye on your way to the airport. I was not in the area. I would give anything to rewind time and be back on this day in 2005. I miss you so much. The wonderful qualities you had are so hard to find. It's such a shame drugs are just too powerful. I wish you were here and would come back to us. You will always have a special place in my heart. LOVE YOU ALWAYS! XOXO Close

CHUCKIE / Auntie Jean (Aunt)
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Words to HOMESICK by Mercy Me -Words that express my Heart  / Mom

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

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6/24/07 ~ 23 Months in Heaven. Will there ever come a time....  / Mom
when the 24th of the month passes without me realizing that another month has passed without you in my life? I told you the day that you told me that drugs were going to kill you, that I did not want to live in a world without my Chuckie in it. I do not like this world without you in it. It is one of constant pain and sadness. Pain, always lurking right under the surface, always in my heart. Too many tears...It is a world without happiness and joy. Your death has robbed me of this, and I doubt it will ever return. I long for Heaven, as I never have before.
     Next month is the 2 year anniversary of your death. 2 whole years without your physical presence. To all of your family and friends who are able to join me at your grave at 6pm on July 24th, to remember you, please do so. To all who loved Chuckie but can't make it to the gravesite, please light a candle to remember Chuckie on this day. Thank you. Close

My sincere condolences  / Shirley Switzer Chapman
Dear Mari and Chuck, I recently spoke to one of our former classmates and was told about the tragic loss of your son Chuckie. I searched for a way to find the two of you so that I could extend my heart felt sympathy and came across this memorial website. I know we haven't spoken in 30+ years, but I do want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this very difficult time. I am so sorry. God bless you both and give you strength. Love, Shirley Close

"PLEASE" - Poem on how to help the parents of a deceased child.....  / Mom

PLEASE
Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll NEVER be over it.

(Every day I miss Chuckie, and I will till I die.  My heart will always have a missing piece.)

Please don't tell me he is in a better place.
He's not with me.

(I know he's in Heaven, a much better place, but I want him here on earth
in my life.)

Please don't say at least he's not suffering.
Why did he have to suffer at all?
(Chuckie and I battled the demons of addiction together. I always knew I was fighting for his life. I failed.  The WHY
question will not be answered until my own eternity begins.)

Please don't tell me you know how I feel, unless you too
have lost your son.

(Losing a child is NOT the same as losing a parent, cousin, spouse, aunt, pet, or getting a divorce. However close you were to these people, they were not one in whom you birthed, nurtured, and one for whom we had hopes and dreams for their future.)

Please don't tell me at least you had him for 23 years.
What year would you choose for your child to die?
No year or time is EVER right!

Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
I am broken in little pieces and the pain is unbearable.

PLEASE - Just say you're sorry.
Please - Just say you remember Chuckie, if you do.  I love to 
hear 
his name.
Please just let me talk about him.
Please just mention his name. I only want him NEVER to be forgotten. To ALWAYS be remembered. I want the world to remember the wonderful, loving person that he was and is.

Please just let me cry.
His name may bring tears to my eyes, but THAT"S OK!!! The tears are healing for me. 
Author unknown. Modified by Chuckie's mom

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You are making a difference  / Jerry Mudge (sister in Christ to mother )
We can't thank Mari enough for sharing Chuckie story to help other kids make better choices. We can only imagine who proud her son must be right now. 
Chuckie, you are making a difference in the lives of those your mother touches.

Jerry and Skip Close

Three Little Pigs...  / Mom
When you were little, Chuckie , your favorite book was the Three Little Pigs,  A particular version. We read that book every night and had it memorized. Even though you couldn't read yet, you could read us the book, and if we skipped a page, you knew it! So for the last 6 months or so, I have searched for this book, looking on ebay, just about every day, but to no avail.  Lots of versions were available, but not your favorite one. 
     So, today, as I was out garage sale-ing, as I do every sat morning, at a local church sale, there was your book! I told the ladies selling the book, your story, and that since today was my birthday, I believed it was a gift from God. They told me since it was my birthday, it was a gift from them too! So thank you, God, and Chuckie, for this precious gift, for me, on this day....a day when I'm missing my son so much. I love you, Chuckie. Close

Memorial Day - A day for remembering...  / Mom
My son, Today our nation remembers and honors the veterans, those who have fought in the wars and those who have died.  
While I wish for you to tell Pa, Sampa and the Grandpa you never knew here on earth, Daddy's Dad, Your other Grandpa Lou, who all fought in WWII, that we are thinking of them this day, and that we love them, know that it is you who are in my heart and who I long 
to see and hold.
     There is a psychological term for what parents do who have lost their child. It is called "searching", and involves looking for their 
child in dreams, as well as in others. Always I look at others to see 
if I can catch a glimpse of you.  This one may have your profile, or your nose, another wears a doo-rag like you did, and yet another looks like you from behind.  I remember driving down in Myrtle 
Beach last summer, behind a car. The driver looked like you from 
the back and had his arm out the window like you always did. For 
a split second, I thought it 
was you.  When it turned out not to be, I cried and cried.  I just 
miss the sight of you, Chuckie. When will I get to see you again? When can I hear you say, I love you, mom. I long to hear that from you....Always remembering you, on Memorial Day and every day, mom Close

22 Months today, gone but never forgotten. Open invitation to all who loved...  / Mom
Chuckie, to honor him with me on the 2 year anniversary of his death, July 24th, 2007.  I will be at his graveside at 6 PM and anyone who wishes to join me in a candlelight remembrance time, please join me there.  I would ask those who loved him, that if you cannot come, please light a candle for him, wherever you are, and remember what an amazing wonderful person he was.
     Life will never be the same for us, his family, and for those friends who loved him so much.  As a mother, the pain I feel is overwhelming and always with me. It is not something I will ever get over, nor will I ever "heal" until that time when God chooses to bring me home. Thank you to all those of you who have understood this, and put up with me and my tears over the last 2 years.  I love all of you...... Chuckie's (and Erin and Chris's) mom Close

Mari..My friend  / Chris Mooney (friend)

My dear Mari, God has answered one of my prayers for you...I just read your note, You told your Heavenly Father you loved Him , asked Him not to give up on you, to keep teaching you. I know you hurt and grieve for Chuckie I can't take that away, I would if I could... I just praise God that you have turned to Him once again. I knew you would in your own time when you were ready. But like you said He is the only one who can help you through this.  His arms are there to lift you out of that pit  take hold my friend even if its just for today. I love you...I'm always here for you, praying for you, holding you close to my heart. You are stuck with me forever girlfriend! Keep trusting Him Mari, and when you can't know I will for you until you can again... I love you my friend....

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Chuckie, Another Mother's Day without you....very hard, very sad...  / Mom
a hard day, because I have so many memories of happier times; precious mother's day cards from you, and how you always gave me flowers. I remember how one time you brought me back a little shoe dish, on a field trip, but it broke before you got it home.  You cried and cried.  Mrs Sands glued the pieces back together and you gave it to me.  I still treasure it. Broken pieces. Broken hearts. How little did I know that darling broken shoe would come to symbolize my broken life. It is just too hard to put the pieces back together, now. I know it is only through Christ that the pieces can reform something whole and beautiful.  Someday.  How I wish we could go back in time, knowing what we know now. I would not let you go. I would be the strictest mom in the world, never letting you out of my sight. You would hate me!
     Sadly it is not to be.  So I now treasure my memories of you and treasure my times with Erin and Chris - so precious to me. I miss you so much, my son. Please hug Grandma and both of your great grandma's for me on this mother's day. Close

Dear Lord, Why do you keep teaching me things in my Season of Grief?  / Mom
My heart is sad, and my feet stand in a pit of miry clay and I am not ready to climb out of the pit. It is comfortable here, wallowing in my sadness and despair.  It keeps me connected to Chuckie. I am not ready to climb out of this pit that I was thrown into when Chuckie 
died.
When Erin, Chuckie and Chris were very small, I needed to come 
up with a life verse and picked Proverbs 3:5 and 6.  Trust in the 
Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. 
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct thy path. This was easy to do at the time I picked this verse. Life was wonderful. 
I was a happy, content mother of 3. When I was dealing with Chuckie's addiction, I knew I needed to trust you, God, and I put 
his addiction and his life in your hands. You took him from me. You saw his struggles and his pain, and said, Enough! Come home, my child. But I lost my ability to trust you. How could I trust you with 
Erin and Chris? I trusted you with Chuckie, and you took him from me. Will you take them too?
     Slowly you are teaching me to trust You again. I realized, like Peter did, that there is no where else to go, but to you. For you, Jesus, hold the answer to eternal life. You are the only way to get 
to Heaven. You have said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. 
No man comes to the Father, but by me."    
     I am afraid to trust you again, but your words say Perfect love 
casts out fear. Last night you reminded me that not only do I need 
to trust you with Erin and Chris, but also with Chuckie. I need to 
trust you that he is OK. It is hard, Lord, but I am learning. Don't 
ever give up on me. Don't ever stop teaching me. Help me to 
believe that even in this pit you are directing my path. I love you.

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memorial garden  / Cindy Chen (new auntie )
hi chuckie:
how are you doing? get along with frank?
did you hear what your mom and l plan to do?
a memorial garden!!
we need your help for both inspiration and strength
talk to frank and let us know what do you guys prefer
take care
love you, cindy

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Chuckie ~ 21 months in Heaven today...  / Mom
Hello, my precious child, just wondering how you are doing? Are you ok? Are you enjoying Heaven? I am sure it is better than anything we can think of or imagine.  It is just that life is very hard here without you. 21 months and here we are still struggling to keep going. My new friends at Compassionate Friends say that at about the 4th or 5th year it starts to get easier, and life starts to feel ok again. People who have never lost a child can never imagine how much it hurts. People tell me I need to get on with life, but how do you live with a piece of your heart missing? I will never forget that you told me I was your heart. I just hurt, Chuckie. So much. Still not believing that this is my lot in life, to be a mother of a child who has died. Life is not supposed to turn out like this. Please keep praying for all of us down here. We love you so much.mom Close

hello, my new friend  / Cindy Chen (your new friend Frank's mom )

How do you like your new friend Frank? He has a big heart just like you, but shows differently, he is very sensitive, but not shy, don't break it !! Be his big brother and take care of him for me until we meet again. l love your big smiling faces shown in the pictures
Your mom and l have just became new friends. Let all 4 of us enjoy our new friendship in our world.

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REMEMBERING CHUCK  / TOM KACHELRIESS (CO-WORKER)
IT HAS TAKEN ME ALL THIS TIME TO WRITE AND SHARE WITH YOU ALL THE PERSON THAT IS LOST TO US AND WHOM I BECAME FRIENDS WHILE WORKING TOGETHER AT PAA. CHUCK WAS A WONDERFUL PERSON TO HAVE AROUND THE OFFICE. HE NEVER COMPLAINED AND ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY. CHUCK WAS SMART AND VERY QUICK ONCE INTERESTED IN A PROJECT AND THOUGH NOT FORMALLY TRAINED COULD HANDLE ALL TYPES OF ASSIGNMENTS THAT DISPLAYED A REAL DESIRE TO LEARN. WE ALL MISS HIM AT PAA AND I STILL HEAR HIM LATE AT NITE WHEN I AM REVIEWING IN THE OFFICE TALKING HIS TALK THAT I BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND, BUT NOT FULLY AND I BELIEVE THAT IS THE WAY HE WANTED IT. I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK THAT I WILL SEE THAT SILVER HIGHRISE PICKUP IN THE LOT ONE OF THESE DAYS, BECAUSE HE STILL OWES ME A RIDE

KNOW THIS THAT IF THERE WERE ONLY MORE CHUCKIES IN THE WORLD THERE WOULD BE LESS PREJUDICE. HE JUDGED NO ONE AND TREATED ALL EQUAL. HE LEFT THAT THOUGHT FOR ALL TO TRY AND EMULATE. IF WE ALL DO THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE FOR CHUCK HAVING BEEN HERE.
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Remembering Casey....May 7, 1998 - April 13, 2007  / Mom
We brought her home the summer 
of 1998. This beautiful little black and brown doxie, with big "Bug-eyes" and a head that was too big for her little body.  My firstborn, Erin, was leaving to go to college, and rather than have another baby, Daddy agreed to getting a puppy. She won our hearts from the first moment we laid eyes on her! As she grew, she learned 
how to catch a ball in her mouth, then throw it back to you. How 
she loved chasing her hamburger, as well as her pink ball. If it 
didn't get close enough to you, she would push it closer with her nose!
She was a little dog with a BIG attitude! Daddy called her our cat-dog, because she pretended not to care if you paid attention to 
her or not. All of us would be on the bed, and she would be in the living room on her chair. She hated it when Chauncey or Stretch would invade her territory, especially when mom was loving her alone!  Other nicknames were Crazy Casey, Doris, Casey Bin-Laden (world-renowned terrorist), Case-a-dia and Casey-Casum.
Chuckie adored Casey. He always told her, "You are so beautiful." and she slept on his bed a lot.  Casey was always so healthy, but
3 weeks ago, I noticed a slight limp. A week ago, she fell over on her side and we thought she had died. I had her to the
 vet 2x, they could find nothing (500 dollars later.) Thursday night she looked like she had a seizure (it turned out it was a stroke 
due to high blood pressure) and she couldn't stop vomiting. I took her to the Emergency Animal Hospital, friday morning and she 
threw a clot around midnight friday night, joining Chuckie in 
Heaven.
     There is no doubt in my mind that our pets go to Heaven. God 
is the Provider and Creator of every good thing, and the pets that we love, and who love us, enrich our lives so much, giving us so much happiness. There were pets in the Garden of Eden, and Heaven will be a place where the lion will lay down with the lamb. God saved man as well as animals in the great flood of Noah's time, and I believe, we can rightly conclude our pets will be in Heaven with us! Perhaps then, we will be able to talk with them, and they will 
be able to talk back. Nothing is impossible with God! 
     We mourn the loss of our little Casey, as only a pet lover can know the sadness one feels when we lose one. I am glad she is being taken care of now by her brother, Chuckie. Rest in peace, my sweet Casey. "You know I love you!" I will see you again, love, your mom Close

Another Easter Without You...  / Mom
Happy Resurrection Day, Chuckie... How amazing Heaven must be celebrating Christ's Resurrection with Christ! The Bible says that if Christ did not rise from the dead, then our faith is futile. Then there would be no hope...for any of us.  For if Christ did not raise from the dead, then neither will we.  My hope is in Christ. Because of this I hold onto the hope of seeing you again, my son. The hope of spending eternity with you. This is what gets me through each day. I would have no desire to live if I didn't have this hope. So enjoy your day, my son. Know how much I love you. Love never dies, so the love that we have for each other is eternal and will last forever. You are always in my heart and I look forward to our future reunion. Love always and forever, mom Close